


If only if only i knew what i know, then maybe tomorrow i wouldn't have to let you go?

by DrkValkyrie, Merlioske



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Boys In Love, Court Sorcerer Merlin (Merlin), Courtship, Hopeful Ending, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Picnic, Wooing with the Flowers, curse, supportive knights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27741841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrkValkyrie/pseuds/DrkValkyrie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlioske/pseuds/Merlioske
Summary: Maybe, if he had paid a little more attention, it wouldn't have turned out this way.Maybe, if he had been more... maybe... maybe, he'll never know.Arthur is Worried and Merlin is acting Strange and bloody bastards that ruin perfectly good picnics appear because of course.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 45





	If only if only i knew what i know, then maybe tomorrow i wouldn't have to let you go?

**Author's Note:**

> so this was a fun collab i did with [DrkValkyrie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrkValkyrie/pseuds/DrkValkyrie), who drew the magnificent art that this fic was completely inspired by. i hope the words please you, dear~
> 
> the biggest of thank you to [Pelydryn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pelydryn/pseuds/Pelydryn) for a wonderful beta, you're the best <3

~x~

“Sire!”

Arthur ducked into an alcove, avoiding yet another councilman. Huffing a frustrated breath, the King of Camelot sped his stride, making for his Court Sorcerer’s tower. 

Once there, he knocked - he, unlike  _ some  _ people, had manners - waited a breath, did not receive a response, scowled and entered anyway, making use of the key Merlin had conjured for him specifically.

"Merlin?" the King called, blinking at the chaos reigning in the space before him. It wasn't an unusual sight, for sure, however this time… This time the chaos felt … almost heavy. "Merlin?" Arthur called louder, a beginning of worry hatching under his breast.

He stepped further inside and finally spied his sorcerer, who was leaning over a table, muttering under his breath; his long, slender fingers running across a scroll that looked ancient and… Arthur stiffened. As Merlin mumbled, the scroll seemed to… puff out little clouds of dark smoke. 

With another little grumble, his sorcerer waved an almost absent-minded hand and something whooshed through the air and landed into a cauldron with a quiet plop. Merlin spared a quick glance at the concoction he was cooking up and began mumbling again.

"Merlin?" Arthur tried for the third time and it seemed that truly was the charm as the sorcerer's back stiffened before he turned to face his King slowly. "What are you doing?" Arthur asked, stepping closer to the table, only to be stopped by Merlin taking a step in front of him.

"Nothing." At the same time, the scroll Merlin had been studying rolled neatly up.

"Right, that's not suspicious at all." Arthur snorted, tried to step around Merlin and froze.

He couldn't breathe. He tried inhaling, but instead of air, his lungs filled with blood and he was choking, he was  _ drowning _ … Arthur grabbed for his chest and his hand came away bloody,  _ gods, had he been stabbed, but how, when, Merlin, he had to find… _ Arthur raised his head and there, before him, stood his Sorcerer. Merlin's hands were ruby red. He was holding a bloody dagger, blood,  _ Arthur's _ blood, slowly making its way down the blade. Merlin,  _ his Merlin _ had stabbed him. Arthur gasped for air, felt his knees buckle, he was falling he was ---

"...thur?  _ Ar _ thur? Are you all right? You look pale."

Arthur blinked through the haze, through the nausea and his head spinning. Merlin was looking at him, his head cocked to the side, eyeing him like a bird.

"I'm… I'm fine. I… I need to go," Arthur muttered, running a shaky hand through his hair.

Merlin shrugged and nodded before turning right back to the table and the scroll.

Too perturbed and shaken up, Arthur turned on his heel and headed for the door. He had barely taken a step outside before the door slammed shut behind him.

~x~

Arthur's chainmail chafed. It never chafed when Merlin used to dress him. Arthur frowned at George, who was nothing if not impeccable at his duties, and dismissed him with a wave of his hand.

Stifling a sigh, Arthur grabbed the bouquet he had painstakingly gathered up just before dawn and left his chambers, walking across the hall and entering the chambers he had gifted Merlin together with his new position. It had been a couple of days since their botched picnic and so, Arthur had put in extra care into picking just the right flowers. His Knights might’ve cooed (Lancelot and Elyan) or made fun (Gwaine) or just looked on, like proud parents (Leon and Percival) but truly, the one opinion, the  _ only  _ opinion Arthur cared about when it came to the flowers, was Merlin’s.

The chambers looked…  _ clean _ . Merlin’s chambers never looked clean. Unless George sneaked in and cleaned up a bit when Merlin was away. Now, however… The chambers looked almost unlived in. Stepping deeper inside, Arthur frowned - Merlin’s bed was obviously unslept in. He hadn’t been in here since at least yesterday. Arthur’s frown deepened.

Worry blooming in his chest, the King of Camelot locked the doors behind him and made his way to his sorcerer’s tower.

Once there, he knocked. Again. There was no answer.  _ Again _ . Arthur unlocked the doors and stepped inside, tossing a weary glance about the chambers as he did so. The atmosphere in the chambers was even heavier than last night, if that were possible. Arthur was  _ not _ worried. He wasn’t. And as soon as he’d see Merlin, everything would be…

“ _ What _ do you think you’re doing in here?!?”

Arthur jumped a little, the sheer fury in the voice making him blanch. "I ---" he cleared his throat, "I brought you something." He presented the bouquet to Merlin, watching his expression hopefully, waiting for the bright, pleased grin to shine on his face.

Even though Merlin had stopped his apprenticeship with Gaius, his magical duties taking up far too much time, he still retained his love of all flowers and herbs. Arthur had been gifting him bouquets ever since they had started their tentative courtship, and Merlin always took great care in preserving a bloom from each bouquet.

This time, however, no grin met Arthur. Merlin took the bouquet from him with a disinterested expression.

"How… sweet." He tossed the flowers onto his work table carelessly, and Arthur's heart gave a pang as Merlin turned away. "I'm busy, so if there's nothing else."

Arthur bit his lip, taking a hesitant step closer. "Merlin, is something wrong?" he asked quietly, not wanting to aggravate his sorcerer any further. "Was it me? Did I… did I do something?"

Merlin twirled around and stalked over to the King, who couldn't help but stumble a few steps back. Merlin, when peeved, cut quite the imposing figure. Before he realised it, his back was against the door and Merlin was looming over him, his face a mere breath away.

“Awww, are you missing me, Your Majesty?” the sorcerer sneered pressing in even closer, sliding a hand from Arthur’s chest down his side, across his hip and settling it on his ass. “This what you want?” he crooned, squeezing, and Arthur gasped before pushing him away, startled and confused.

“Merlin! What …” the words seemed to die in his throat. Merlin’s eyes were blazing gold.

~x~

It was so new, their courtship. They had been dancing around each other for so long. Sometimes, Arthur thought, as long as they'd known each other even. So this, this was new. This was  _ official  _ and it felt a bit forced, a bit awkward. They both felt a little wrong-footed, a little wary. Which was why - they were having a picnic. It was Arthur's idea. Well, all right, it was  _ Gwen's _ idea. Initially. But it  _ was _ Arthur that planned it and ordered the kitchens to make all of Merlin's favorite foods and… and it was  _ he _ that packed the blanket, so there!

And it was all going so well. They were bantering and eating and laughing and Merlin had that glint in his eyes and then they were leaning towards each other and Arthur knew, just  _ knew _ they were about to kiss when…

In hindsight, they should have known it had gone too smoothly. The five figures that emerged from the woods wasted no time with declarations or swearing or, anything, really. They came at them with quiet determination, chanting as they moved. Naturally, Merlin had sprung up in front of Arthur, his magic flaring protectively in front of them. 

"Stay behind me."

And Arthur  _ had. _ As much as that had gone against his instincts as a warrior, he knew that this was  _ not _ a battle he'd be able to win. And he'd be damned if he got in Merlin's way and got him hurt because of foolish charging in where there was no need. Plus, he trusted his sorcerer. He knew he'd keep him safe. So when their attackers were finished with their incantation and a sphere of bubbling crimson smoke rose before them and sailed towards Arthur and Merlin, Arthur stood tall. He did not flinch - Merlin could handle whatever it was that they were throwing at him. Except the sphere went right through the shield Merlin had up and right  _ into _ the sorcerer. 

In hindsight, Arthur should have realised that they were never aiming for him in the first place. Hindsight, Arthur discovered, was a bitch.

Merlin doubled over with the force of the hit, but before Arthur could so much as reach for him, he was standing straight again, was stalking over to their attackers, was intoning in that language that always made Arthur’s knees a bit wobbly when coming from Merlin’s lips. Their attackers fell to their knees, one by one. By the time Merlin had reached them, only one was left standing.

“Too… late… Emrys… the Betrayer…” the last of their adversaries had hissed before collapsing. 

Arthur had rushed to Merlin’s side, needing to make sure his Merlin was all right, that whatever that attack was had no ill effects. "Merlin? Are you---?" 

Merlin had pushed his hand away and turned, shaking his head slowly. "I'm fine. I'm… I'm fine, just. Let's just go home, yeah?"

In hindsight, Arthur had realised that Merlin hadn't looked him in the eye then. Hindsight as already established however, was a bitch.

Arthur had made sure to extract a promise from Merlin to go straight to Gaius upon their return.

Arthur, however, had also been flooded with Things and Duties upon their return and had just assumed that Merlin would do as he had been told.

Again, Arthur would later ponder, hiNdSiGhT.

And now… now here they were. And Arthur had realised that for the first time in all of the years Merlin had been protecting him, he had failed.

~x~

"Merlin---" Arthur  _ tried _ for loud, he did. It came out a whisper. He reached then, reached for his Merlin, one hand on his wrist, the other sneaking around his waist to pull the sorcerer closer.

Merlin was grinning and it… it looked  _ wrong _ on his face.

There was energy, pulsing all around them, a fiery, blazing inferno rising throughout the chambers with them in the middle of it.

"Ah, well. I was hoping for a bit more time, but I guess now's as good as ever…"

His tone sent shivers of dread down Arthur's spine. "Merlin? What's going on? Merlin, you have to fight this. Fight it, damn it, whatever it is!"

Merlin hummed thoughtfully, the grin never lessening on his face. "Now why would I do that? All I have to do is get rid of you. I do that and I'm free."

"Merlin…no, you don't want to…" Arthur gasped, struggling to draw breath. His body was going numb, he couldn't talk anymore, he couldn't...breathe. 

He looked into the blazing gold eyes of his sorcerer, of his  _ Merlin _ , and saw the anguish beneath the curse. Arthur forced his numb lips into a smile, blinking through the tears that were slowly gliding down his cheeks. "It's… all right… love… love you…" He closed his eyes then, not wanting the curse to be the last thing he saw, imagining the blue of his Merlin's eyes instead. With that image firmly behind his closed eyelids, Arthur leaned in and pressed his lips against Merlin's.

The fiery inferno of energy surrounding them exploded. And then all was dark and Arthur saw no more.

~x~

**Author's Note:**

> comments are love and joy and life.  
> xoxo


End file.
